Day 5 of the Cleanse

Day 5 began with meditation, the Yoga Journal Day 5 Yoga sequence and journaling. The urge to write and release has become a part of my daily routine, and it makes sense that all the cleansing physically would lead to advanced emotional and spiritual clearing out as well. I am now picking back up on the spiritual journey I began in my late teens/early twenties that I put down while I got busy with career, family and the daily busy-ness of living, knowing it would always be there for me.

The same person who asked me whether "stuff was coming up" asked me today how I was doing with the cleanse. I told her I felt remarkably relaxed, and deeply aware of my inner world. In the same breath I told her I also feel a bit lost, and that I don't know what to do with "all of this". All of this meaning my renewed awareness, my clearer understanding of what certain stimulants do to increase my stress level (do I really feel ready to give up coffee??), how do I strike a balance between what I typically do and doing what may be healthier albeit a lot harder? Can I give up meat, milk and sugar as a part of daily living and enjoy them sparingly from time to time? Or do I go hardcore? How do I make time every day to read, journal, meditate, practice yoga AND raise a family, work, keep house, run errands, pay bills and have a life? Do I swear off red wine forever? And what about the extra cooking that going vegan would mean? She just smiled and said "moderation" And, of course, she is right...but I'm not very good at it. Deciding what's moderate is very subjective and individualistic. So lots of questions with answers have yet to come.

I found a dynamic parallel between that "feeling lost" conversation with my friend, and the activities of the day. After a 6:30 yoga glass and 9:15 Reiki appointment, I came home to get ready for a hike with my friend Maureen. I couldn't pack the Kitchari stew so I made the Mung Bean/Rice bars. They came out more like a thin moist cake, but very delicious and perfect for a quick mountain-top lunch. When we came down from the peak, we decided to take a different loop that would extend our hike but bring us back to the car within 45 minutes. Since Maureen and I never seem to run out of things to talk about, it was a lively conversation with occasional pauses to stop and appreciate the beauty of our surroundings. I realized several times during our walk that we'd either missed or ignored a few markings and ended up, well, a bit lost. It wasn't as though we'd been walking for a long time without seeing the guide marks on trees, but it was clear we did not stay on the intended trail. And there is always a sense of uncertainty and excitement that comes with these moments. Had we been in uncharted territory, I may have been a lot more apprehensive. But we knew we were safe, if not a little vexed by a vast network of well used and well marked numbered trails. So, it took us a little longer than expected to get back to the parking lot, but it was a wonderful and peaceful walk on a beautiful day! How does it get any better than that?? Getting a little lost is probably better for you then you think.

After dinner, I asked the kids if they wanted to go for ice cream...what do you think they said? We piled in the car and I gave them their choice of ice cream destinies. All three are well known to us, and they were unanimous in their vote. I was just happy to have a little one on one time with them so put the car in gear and started driving to their favorite spot. I'd been to this shop about half a dozen times, but got caught up in answering the typical twenty questions from the back seat. I took a left, then took a right, and after about 10 minutes I asked aloud "Am I going in the wrong direction?", and my daughter answers "Yeah, Mom, but it's ok. You can get there from here" I realized I had zigged when I should have zagged...but still, it was ok even if I was a bit lost, because in the end we got where we wanted to go. It's ok if you're doubtful about your journey, if you have a basic idea of where you want to end up, you can get there from here.

What was true for me in my twenties is just as true for me now. In realizing that we are all in this together, that no one has all the answers, it's ok to be feel a bit lost now and then. I think that's a big part of the unease that goes with evolving...you have to be ok with being rudderless at times. That's when you float and drift, enjoying the day instead of racing pell mell across the abyss.

Day 5 had the most poignancy for me, and while I'm growing a little bored with the food, I realize the cleanse is working on many levels. Having a ready food staple prepared in advance is not just for cleansing and sustenance, it also means taking a break from having to think all the time. We make a million little decisions every day, and what to eat occupies a good amount of our time, up to three or four times a day. With having that removed from your plate (no pun intended), it frees you up to think and do more important activities. And it takes the pressure off if you're really hungry to have something nutritous and filling at the ready.

Only two days of the cleanse remains and today I will prepare the potassium broth for the final phase. While it is the morning of Day 6 now, I expect the weekend with its social opportunities will present a few challenges from a diet/temptation perspective. In particular, the coffee hour after church service tomorrow offers a variety of really healthy foods, and the typical baked goodies one expects. If Chris brings his tebouleh or cabbage salad, I may have to bring home a doggie bag to be enjoyed on Monday.

Namaste!