Green Goddess, not just a dressing anymore!

Hey All! I think I can get this seasonal post in just under the wire. Back to School is just about a week away and marks the end of a fruitful and restful season. With all this resting you'd think I'd have a few more posts to offer but I really took this summer very seriously, relatively speaking.

Here's what I did on my summer vacation: Mostly, I worked almost every day from April through the early part of August. Hours, days and weeks of search work leaving me feeling both frantic and frustrated, but keeping roof intact and belly's full. The only regular reprieve I had was the weekend Farmer's Market on the Pembroke Green (we participated this year under the name "Tap Root Gardens"...more on this later), and my exercise routines. I got intimate with my yoga mat again...and found that I can no longer go through life neglecting my tendons, joints, ligaments and muscle fibers. Let's face it, as far as injuries go, I've been damn lucky for a very long time. No sense tempting fate.

I ran my first real road race just a few days before my 43rd birthday, then ran my second one three days later...and placed first for my age group! That was probably the personal/public highlight of my summer. I met quite a few avid racers who insist I run more races, longer races, harder races. They were incredibly nice and solicited equal parts praise and recommendations on other local races to run. Let's face it, I'm just not that interested in running competitively. I'd rather go for the personal long hall and say that I ran well into my 70's because I took care of my body. Leaning on a cane at 67 because my knees gave out after attempting to run the Boston Marathon at 43 is not my idea of a success story. Again...why tempt fate?

I have taken these last remaining weeks of August off to spend some serious time with my kids, and myself, before September "madness" rushes in and takes over. I love back to school...the clothes shopping, buying the back packs, the smell of new leather shoes (anyone remember Buster Browns?). I love knowing fall is right around the corner (hands down, my favorite season of all!). The foods and cooking opportunities Autumn offers is half the reason I love it so much. However, ramping up mentally for a demanding work schedule is somehow not as easy this year. I really have enjoyed the summer for a change. I think it may be the garden and the chickens contributing to my later-in-life blooming appreciation of summer's charms.

I never really cared all that much for the hot and sticky weather, crowded/trash-strewn beaches, shirtless mowing (does my neighbor have any idea how bad this looks?), or the relentless social calendar that seems to dry up the minute the calendar page turns to October. Can't we have a little balance here? How about a few get-togethers in February? You know, when it's cold and nasty out? I find the comfort of a few good friends gathered around the table brings a unique warmth of it's own and can more than rival any mid-July backyard barbeque for socializing. The glorious stretch of hot weather we enjoyed from late June to mid-August was certainly partly to blame for my recent enjoyment...and the noticeable lack of mosquito's didn't hurt either.

The real lesson this season was in learning how to slow down...I mean REALLY SLOW DOWN! I need to thank my yogic breathing for most of this. I never realized until recently how shallow my breathing typically is...especially when I'm stressed with work. But I also learned to say yes to things I would normally never consider, like waking up on a Tuesday and saying to my family "work will always be here, let's go to the beach!" During July and August I ended up taking most Friday's off for personal rejuvenation and preparation for the weekend market. I really enjoyed the fresh produce this season had to offer, daily! I've never eaten such an abundance and array of fresh, locally grown veggies and fruits! I got experimental with a few of the local food-crafter's offerings (a sweet basil jelly that will have you scouring your kitchen for something worthy to spread it on, a pumpkin butter to die for, and an "herbs de provence" bread that will literally transport you, with every bite, to a field of rosemary and lavender...a true slice of heaven). I have even developed a signature sandwich using these local ingredients that I will proudly publish on the Pembroke Farmer's Market website in the next month.

I am developing into a Locavore...studying it like an art form. Most of the best finds are at these Farmer's Market's, though the road-side stands are worth checking out, too. Despite my best efforts this summer, and sneaky recipes, our children have not yet developed an appetite for earthly bounty, unless it's covered in chocolate and rolled in sugar. But at least they have an appreciation for the garden and growing. They'll really miss it once it's snow-covered and no longer demanding hours of daily attention from their father, who will doubtlessly limit their daily shenanigans and uproarious antics that typically erupt after long summer days of torturing each other. They're also really enjoying the chickens. I have chickens...does this make me a farmer's wife? Visions of Green Acre's dancing in my head. I can empathize with Eva and her stiletto's in a big way! Every day we check to see if one of our fine feathered ladies has worked up the nerve as yet to sit in the nest box and earn her keep...so far, nada. I look forward to fresh eggs, and will wrestle with how many to sell and how many to keep for family and friend. I will be posting a special blog when that miraculous day finally does come.

My personal growth is almost more of a retro-movement. I have managed to get back into the spiritual form of my twenties by way of yoga, reading, living in the moment more often then not, paying attention to my spiritual hunger (requiring daily nourishment), practicing moderation in every way, and developing a great awareness around energy depletion and unnecessary energy consumption. Not the kind that comes and goes through wall sockets, but the kind that comes and goes through people. I'm learning to be a bit more selfish about how I use my energy. I think personal physical and spiritual energy, like real batteries, come with limitations on demand. I believe true recharge only comes when you stop allowing it to leach out in small increments, and just sit for a long while with yourself. Like you're on a charger and you really don't have the capability to deplete yourself any further. I am learning to hold onto my energy, avoiding misuse and unnecessary expenditure.

As everyone now knows, a poorly insulated home has lots of cracks and surface breaks where energy pours out of the home in both large and small amounts, only to be wasted when released into the atmosphere. Having your home audited for CO2 emissions and insulating it against energy loss can save you a lot of money. It also makes you feel a lot better about your external "greening" efforts. I think this type of focus and effort should be applied to your internal house, too. Thinking of my soul as my furnace or as my central electric system, I have begun to consider how much of my energy gets wasted or sucked away by many daily aspects of my life; work, social pursuits, even family have a way of demanding energy from you that can cost you dearly in the long run. Putting up a protective fence, a boundary, and insulating your spiritual house through careful contemplation of where your energy is going and whether it's being wasted can go a long way to preserving that which is so precious in all of us...our life force.

When a friend says they've wasted so much "time" on something or someone, I tend to think more about the "energy" they gave away to that purpose or person. As women, we worry more about time because, naturally, our bodies supposedly have a built in clock that tells us when it's time to become a woman and become a mother. Eventually, that honor, opportunity, right or responsibility (whatever you wish to call it) is taken away from us by time as well. While we may still have the energy, we may not have been granted adequate time to become a mother. Despite all of the wonders of modern technology, we still can't recapture time that is lost. But I do think it's possible to recapture spiritual energy. Gathering it back up to rejuvenate, repair and re-energize for worthy pursuits.

And, while meditation, yoga, or religious study may be the first methods that come to mind, there are a vast number of activities that can work wonders to recharge your personal battery, like reading, writing, taking a retreat weekend (GREAT idea!), or simply sitting still at your kitchen table and contemplating a cup of tea. Saying 'no' more often also goes a very long way to honoring that which is so precious and deserved...time for yourself. This is a tough one for so many of us who truly wish to be helpful when a friend or neighbor is looking to us for support (social invitations, last minute childcare, or supporting their in-home parties...ugh!), but these are opportunities to reclaim our energy and ourselves.

I also try to consider the great "energy" that comes with helping someone out, particularly when that person thinks enough of me to entrust me with the care and keeping of their child for a few hours. That's a different kind of energy (karmic!) that can feed you in a truly positive manner. I tend to look at these on a case by case basis, and determine whether it's truly a jam, or a developing dependency. In the case of the latter, deciding what's best for you may come at the price of having to say 'no' a lot and potentially distancing yourself from the parent(s).

In closing, I just thought I'd point out this idea. We talk about time in terms of it "passing". Time is fleeting, time flies, time marches on, time waits for no one. Sounds a little unforgiving, doesn't it? Energy, however, flows. You can put time and energy into things, many things. Perhaps you can't get the time back but I believe you can gather and re-harness energy. You can draw energy, you can store energy, you can give energy away and get it back again. You can't do that with time. So, if I can't control the passage of time, I can at least control the flow of my energy every day.

This week, however, holding onto my energy is not nearly as important as into what, or whom, I am investing it. And with the school year fast approaching, that's a no-brainer...my kids are the current benefactors. (Get it? Current, energy?) At the risk of committing social Hari-Kari for the remainder of August, if I am being asked to choose between supporting someone's in-home party, or a night at home playing cards with my kids, the likely response will be "go fish".