Girlfriend Salad

Enduring friendships and other things to be grateful for…

Like anyone with something to say, lots of some-things, I hemmed and hawed over this piece for at least a week before committing to an idea. I thought maybe Thanksgiving Day would provide required inspiration for an emerging theme. Overall, it’s been a really tough year and being grateful for all of the blessings in my life is something I have to practice actively or I lose perspective…so I really can’t sit here and preach about how important it is to sustain an attitude of gratitude when I struggle with it daily.

On Thanksgiving morning, after a pretty rough night of too much wine and way too many cookies, I knew I had to get with the program quickly. If my husband’s family starts going around the table asking each person what they are thankful for, I had to come up with something profound and unpredictable…you know, something they didn’t see coming, just to see if they’re paying attention. So I started with the basics. I began by ticking these off each finger and thought of how each might inspire my answer…and hopefully, my blog. Ok, we’ve got health, food, shelter, family, a sense of humor…wow, I’m at five…need to use my other hand; a career in the midst of resuscitation, a recession in the midst of rebounding, a husband in the midst of self-discovery & reclamation, and the basic creature comforts (cable and a library card). Then I got stuck…so I stopped at nine figuring anything beyond that will sound like gloating.

What served as excellent dinner conversation did not suffice as blog inspiration, however. So, I gave myself a few days to allow an idea to percolate. When it finally came, it was in the form of a knock on my front door and an unexpected visit from one of my best friends. By the end of our impromptu visit, it was crystal clear to me what I needed to say.

It occurs to me that maybe it wasn’t a coincidence that I called this blog “GreenSoul”…it may have been a sort of unconscious epiphany about being a new soul, a young soul, a “green” soul. I am still learning, we all are, that’s not news. But what does it mean when you start to re-learn? What I mean is I’m getting lots of reminders about things I had down pat twenty years ago. For example, I used to make something called “fridge salad”. I would open the fridge and just throw whatever looked good and pretty fresh into a bowl and splash lo-cal dressing on it. I even went into the cereal closet and figured out what would stand up to dressing and what wouldn’t (All Bran looks hearty, but it really doesn’t hold up under pressure). Making a salad is more fun when you throw things in that are decidedly “unsalad-like” ingredients. Like, Chex cereal or mini shredded wheat. Ever chop up a baked potato and throw it in to some lettuce with carrots, cukes and ranch or blue cheese dressing? It’s good stuff! When did my salads get so orthodox? The most exciting thing I put in salad now is a pair of exotic wooden salad tongs, a gift I received from a world-traveling friend last Christmas. I’m going back to my funky “fridge salad” practices starting tomorrow. The other re-realization is that regular aerobic activity really does give you the energy to get through a whole day. I’m not longer tempted to “rest my eyes” for a few minutes around 3:00 p.m., nor am I threatened by an impromptu face-plant into my keyboard at 8:30 at night. I actually do feel awake and alert most of the day…most days…except for those days when I have a glass of red wine with dinner (recently fallen in love with Beaujolais…a world of yum in a bottle!).

What does salad have to do with a visit from a close friend? Good question, I’m not quite sure how I got there either, but let me see if I can make sense of this…for both you and me. My closest friends are the ones I made in my twenties. This was a time in my life I was certainly the most raw, the most insecure, the most self-involved and the most idealistic. God, I was so happy on my 30^th birthday! One of the things I did really right in my early twenties though was attract and maintain a strong circle of friends. This has been the one investment that has always had the most tremendous ROI. I can count my closest friends on one hand, and each of those fingers represents a relationship this is over twenty years in the making. Each one is precious, irreplaceable and each has nurtured some part of my green soul over these many years. They always have been and, God willing, continue to be a central beam in the support system of my overall “house”…these stewards of enduring female friendship. Over the years these incredible people have been, at one time or another, my soul mate, teacher, sister, mother, confidant, sounding board, mirror, life-coach, career advisor, and change-agent. They are my touchstone, my voice of reason, my shoulder to lean on, and my lasso of truth. We don’t spend as much time together in the same room as we once did, but it’s that incredible sense of shared experiences, terrific chemistry, and a deep understanding of the other’s personal history that binds us together. I love knowing that no matter how infrequent the calls or meetings over coffee, the next time we talk we’ll pick up right where we left off the day, week, month or year before. These are the women with whom I will continue to share all the significant moments of my life, who I will call when I just can’t take it anymore, with whom I will celebrate successes, holidays and all of life’s major events, and who I would mourn and grieve endlessly for should they pass on before me. They are all unique, all inspiring and all equally responsible for contributing to the continuing development of my Green Soul. My friends, you know who you are, but just in case….I’m toasting you this holiday season, Jude, Darlene, Jodi & Adina.

I love you all very much.