Balancing Acts...a completed post from 2010.

It's been quite a while since my last post, primarily because I have been completely inundated with work...isn't that good to hear? It's not that I'm bragging, though I am aware how lucky I am to be working again. But, it's the realization that in a role like mine, hiring for companies, that news has an impact like a laser beam tearing through this murky, unyielding job market like a big jagged rip of light through a cloudy, starless night. I'm psyched! Every time I make an offer it's like throwing out a life preserver to a very grateful survivor. Granted, it's not my boat, but I am enjoying the cruise.

Funny thing about boats though, it's a struggle to find your balance. Once you do, it's walking on land again that feels odd. Balance; it's a perception that can change based on where your standing. I've been working so much lately that an hour with my kids in the evening feels something like a balance between work and home. I have worked strictly from home for five years, offering plenty of opportunity for a reasonable work/life balance. Keeping a balance while working at home for some might be finding the discipline every day to put in a full eight hours at your desk when you could just as easily be tackling the laundry, the gardening or answering another of ten thousand calls to action that you hear from every corner of your home life. For me, keeping balance means trying to wrap up a last minute call in order to dash down the stairs, eat dinner(without choking or working up a case of indigestion), only to run back up the stairs right after to take another call, check emails and respond to yet another inquiry from an excited/anxious candidate, and be available to help put the kids to bed...at 8:30 p.m. My day started at 6:00 with checking and responding to emails...and it pretty much ends the same way 14 hours later. It's partly self-induced, and partly due to the needs of the business. I love to be busy, to feel engaged and involved...and invested. At the end of the day, I'm serving people and I'm getting paid to do something I love. Balance is somewhat of a luxury for me right now, and unfortunately, because of the nature of my work, I miss out on a lot.

There's an image of a see/saw in my head sometimes when I think about the lack of balance in my life. I wonder whether the life side will ever strike a static parallel position to the work side and the ground. I don't know if that's even reasonable to consider.  There's a part of me that truly believes there's really no such thing as work/life balance...it's just a concept designed to make us feel guilty about not making time for other people or purposes in our lives.  Making us feel as though there are more balls than hands to catch them, but you must try, try, try...even though you know its a fool's game.  I do believe in give and take though, and I also believe in creating moments instead of waiting for them to happen.  Setting the stage for a memorable day is something I have become very good at, and I'm not ashamed to admit that my kids are totally aware when I'm doing it.  But I think it's important to point out to children those moments that are not ordinary, and how to recognize when love is leaning right up against your shoulder.  Throw your arm around it quick, before its gets away from you!  I'll date myself a bit and say I live for these "Kodak Moments". 

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I am now finishing this post...four years later...and sometimes miss the days when the phone was ringing non-stop.  I have found that magic balance between home and life.  I got what I wished for...and I know the risks and rewards of it.  While my business has decidedly taken a back seat to my life, I no longer make impulse purchases or book weekend getaways "just because".  We're watching our pennies, dimes, nickels and every bit of currency we earn.  The flip side is that our relationship has never been better, our kids never happier, our hearts never healthier.  I may never be much more than a one-woman show with a manageable book of business, and that's ok.  But I'll also never from a lack of love, food or happiness.